This gonna be a super long post cuz im about to reflect on the year 2008. Well this year has its ups and downs just like every other year but i relly thank God for this one. This year in a phrase would be a wake up call. Learned lots of new stuff got to know lots of new people and gained TONS of valuable experience. First of all, I learned tht its really important to set goals for ourselves. Much of my year was wasted cuz i was wondering around in school aimlessly. I really regret that. My attitude was actually those happy-go-lucky kind of attitude which SUCKS. So now i finally got into some shit class( 3s4) buts its too late to regret and who can i blame but myself? Well at least now i know where im headed too, its way too stupid to continue dwelling on the past and emo-ing now. Sounds cliche but : I gotta pick myself up where i first fell down. My motto in sec 3? Don't just survive. Dominate. Every single human being is actually an unstoppable machine capable of doing great things, it just boils down to whether u got the right programming in ur head. We only get to live once, so why not make the most of our lives before we die? Many people(including me) blame God or something else for the situation they are in. Yet what most people dun realize is that they are actually in a pit of quicksand. The longer they drown in self-pity the faster they - well - drown! Literally.
Second of all, be true to yourself. This whole year i felt like i was living a lie. In the eyes of those who don't know me that well, I strive to be this "holy pure christian" which in fact i know i will never be. Every one has their calling so i guess that wasn't mine. It was really a torture trying to pretend to be someone you are not. The reality is that this year i was just this sad insecure little guy who seeks only to be accepted and loved by those around him. Well i suppose the first impression i made upon Her and the people of 2i5 wasn't a very good one but hey who cares im moving on. Oh yes about Her... I guess what wasn't meant to be will never be. I spent a damn lot of this year trying to impress her, please her, thinking about her. All the stupid shit one does when he or she is lovesick. I was really paranoid trying to picture this fantasy that somehow one day we'll be together but this was exactly what dragged the really important things of my life down. My studies, my social life, my music etc. I spent so long hanging on very line she says that i really don't have the energy to do anything else. Over time i grew obsessed - some might even call me a stalker but that was the fool i was back then. Yes letting go is painful but it hurts even more if i continue the way i am. Well if she does somehow like me back then thats great but if she doesn't theres no point wasting my life away for someone who won't benefit me anyway. Sounds selfish but yeah. Lol.
This year had its ups too of course. Im sure many of you will know but...I WON FUHUA TALENQUEST 2008 CHAMPION!! haha. Music is the only thing right now that i will really be serious about apart from studies of course. I don't care i may be ugly, lame, whatever they wanna say but i am talented and unique in God's eyes and thats all that really matters to me.
Finally i want to thank all my friends this year who have helped me become who i am today. I want to thank chester and karis especially because i guess they are the only two who are really true to me. I want to thank Her for teaching me a valuable lesson and last but not least God. For opening my eyes and making me see that im not the failure i think i am.
God bless all those who read this post. Amen.
; DEATH AWAITS
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